I’ve had a hesitant love of photography for a long time, off and on since my late teens. Further back when I was a child I had toy cameras that took real film, 110 and 35mm, took fumbling shots through tiny viewfinders and plastic lenses. Then as an adult I found I liked manual film cameras, bought cheap ones off eBay as digital began to boom, scanned and uploaded to Flickr when it was still a start-up in Canada. It was a sporadic love, a minor passion, often interrupted but never abandoned entirely, boosted by the first wave of suddenly capable camera phones and further trips to eBay. Often, it was a shallow love, but there was something I discovered the more I spent time messing about with cameras.
When I have a camera in my hand, when I have to think about what I am doing, when I make myself think about what I am doing, when I make myself think about what I’m doing while thinking about what is in the viewfinder, when I’m thinking about making what I see in the viewfinder please me, while thinking about what I must do to keep it this way, to be frozen in a single moment, something wonderful happens.
Shutter, aperture, focus, composition. Keeping control of those four simple things and the complex way they each relate. Holding them in my head, out into my clumsy fingers, moving and framing, focusing and aiming, getting the scene back through to my eye, whilst thinking about the photo I want to take. It’s hard then, the brain churns, tumbling over past experience to get it right. Something has to give.
Something does.
Everything else that is in my head.
Stopped. Forgotten. Doesn’t matter. More than that, it just isn’t there to be noted as not mattering. There’s just the camera, the shot, the frustration and challenge of not being as good as you want to be – and moment after delicious moment to get a little better.
I don’t consider myself a good photographer, I’m easily distracted by novelty, new technology, theory and internet forums. What keeps me at it is the feeling I get when I’m taking pictures – it’s a nice feeling, it feels, hmm, it feels healthy (I know, I’m wincing at little too), look, it just feels good.
So this trip is an attempt to get that feeling in place and keep it there for three weeks in a fascinating place. Not much novelty, low distraction, just one bag with some belongings and one camera with a fixed lens – the Fujifilm X100S.
First though, I had to let the first few days of being in Japan wash over me, get it into and out of my system.